Purple!!

Purple. Its my favorite color, Ever. I don't know why, but something about it just tickles my fancy. I love to wear purple cloths, paint my nails purple, eat purple candy, grow purple flowers, make purple jewelery. My Point? I really love purple.
(Bonus points for you if "purple" still sounds like a word after reading that!)
I love Purple so much that I put it in my hair, that's right. I dyed my hair purple. Not all of it, just a streak. And its AWESOME!

I've been wanting to do it for months, so today I finally did, on a whim. And I'm so glad I did.

I haven't told anyone, so this is the formal announcement. I can't wait to surprise my friends, especially because no one reads this blog!!

    Ta-Da!!

My Family's Favorite Jokes

My Father’s Favorite Joke – The Color Sentence

“So, this man is applying for a sales job. Since he was wearing a very colorful outfit, the interviewer had already decided he wasn’t a qualified applicant, but had to interview him anyways. So he says to the guy, “If you can tell me a sentence that uses the words Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, and Black, You’ve got the job.” So, the guy thinks for a while and finally says ‘I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aye, wrong number. Don't Purplely disturb people and don't call Black, okay?’”


The beginning to this Joke was never told in the same way, but by the end of this joke, my father is always laughing uncontrollably. I used to love this joke because it made him laugh, and I could understand it. Many of my childhood conversations with my father ended with a dictionary because he could never just say things in a way a seven year old could understand. With so many complex jokes, I find it delightfully uncharacteristic of him to like this one.

My Mother’s Favorite Joke- Wishy Washy

“A woman is doing laundry. First she picks up a shirt. *at this time, the joker picks up an imaginary shirt and pretends to wash it on a washboard* Wishy- Washy, Wishy- Washy, Wishy- Washy. *hold up shirt* Looks clean *pretends to smell shirt* Smells Clean *put shirt aside, pick up new piece of clothing* (the speaker would do this several times with different pieces of clothing.) Then, she picks up a diaper, Wishy-Washy, Wishy-Washy, Wishy-Washy, *looks at imaginary diaper* Looks clean, *Smells imaginary diaper* Wishy-Washy, Wishy- Washy, Wishy- washy. . . ”



This was my mother’s favorite joke as a child. She grew up in the time when cloth diapers were still in use, or else not too far in the past. Apparently she would drag this joke out forever, listing ever article of clothing imaginable, which caused her family much displeasure. She used to tell me this joke when I was little. I never found it that funny, but I always loved how she’s liked the same joke her whole life, that’s just the way she is.

My Brother’s Favorite Joke- The Thermos

“A woman goes into a store and points out a thermos. The salesman explains that it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. The woman buys one and the next day brings it to work, where he boss asks her what it is. She tells him it’s a thermos; it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. He then asks her what she has in it. She replied Two cups of coffee and a popsicle”



This joke was constantly thrown a cross the dinner table while my older brother, Gary, tried to learn it just like my Father told it. Occasionally, my Father would replace the coffee/popsicle punch line with the boss saying “But how do it know?!”, which always frustrated my brother. I think Gary loved this joke because of its old-school humor, which he could use while brownnosing his way out of things, his best skill.

My Favorite Joke

. . . hasn't been found yet. I need a few more years of listening to my family's dinner table jokes before I pick up my own. In my family, we take joking very seriously.

5 Mediocre Things

1. Grades in the 70s – Well, you didn’t fail, but you didn’t quite succeed either. Nothing feels more like yellow and flat bicycle tires like a nice 70. At least an 80 could be blamed on a simple mistake, or a 60 on complete misunderstanding of the material. But no, it’s a 70, screaming “I should have worked harder”. So sit, peer at your obvious mistakes, and let the grade soak itself in.


2. MP3 Players – So, you’re not cool enough to own an iPod, here’s the next best thing. They come in all shapes and sizes, but they are all primarily just junk drives with a headphone jack. They work just the same as their cooler counterparts, but make the listener subject to countless letdown friends who ask to play with their iPod. Music is Music is Music, so load ‘em up, unwind those headphones, and listen.


3. Miniature Schnauzers – These are the small annoying dogs that bark a lot. They aren’t very good for anything anymore; apparently they used to catch mice on ships. Now they’re the house pet that isn’t quite large or small enough to be useful. They aren’t large enough to be a hearty, mans-best-friend kind of dog that goes on runs or jumps into lakes. However, they aren’t small enough to be cute and cuddly, fit-in-your-purse dogs either. Really, they’re just animals that bark.



4. Straight Spaghetti- Wednesday was always spaghetti day in my house, I’d come downstairs to the aroma of tangy marinara and welcoming garlic bread. I’d sit down and my mother would put my plate in front of me, my mouth watering in anticipation, until I see a boring bowl of straight spaghetti. These stands of starch just can’t compare to the fun of bows, shells, or even linguini. Not only do they produce a dull meal, but they’re a challenge to eat that isn’t worth its rewards.


5. Paperclips – Not quite as handy as its cousin, the staple, paperclips nonetheless have been helping us marry sheets for decades. These little metal clips may get you lost in their curvature before you can start finding organization with their help. Be careful, one wrong move and your paperclip can disengage, depositing you back to the beginning of your problem, with two pieces of paper and the perpetual challenge of binding them together.